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Military Marriage

>Where do the husbands fit in?

>In my ever constant surfing, I recently ran across a truly thought provoking blog. Army Dad is a blog written by Tim, who has taken on being a stay-at-home-dad to his four kids and supporting his wife in her Army career. He raises some issues that I don’t normally consider.

Many of the services and resources available to Army (and all military branches) spouses are accustomed to working with women. Spouses’ Clubs are built around women’s interests and activities. The t-shirts, pithy sayings, TV dramas and web forums are mainly aimed at Army Wives. If, with all this support and community, women frequently feel isolated and lonely then how do the men feel? Women are an increasingly important part of the soldier community, where do their husbands fit in?

I had the very great fortune to meet a wonderful Army husband during my Soldier’s Company Command. The Brigade Commander was a woman, and her husband was retired Army. Upon his wife taking command, Bob dove headfirst into the experience of being a spouse. He joined coffee groups, attended FRG meetings, participated in the Spouse’s Club, and was the only man to attend the Post Mock Dining In. He brought a wealth of Army experience, a Soldier’s perspective, and a unique sense of humor. Among other learning opportunities, knowing and working with Bob made me realize that there is an ever growing section of the Army family that is underserved and undoubtedly underrecognized.

I have asked Tim to contribute a guest post which will be coming to you soon. No one understands the challenges and struggles of an Army Spouse like another Army Spouse. It’s always refreshing to bring a new perspective.

Look around your community, your unit….is it open and welcoming to ALL new spouses?


About ThatArmyWife

I am an Army Wife, mom,equestrian, animal lover, and photographer.


3 thoughts on “>Where do the husbands fit in?

  1. >His is one of the most amazing blogs I've seen in a long time. Thanks so much for sharing this amazing man's story.I agree. We need to pay more attention to the man behind the soldier as well. I knew a male spouse and he attended one coffee. He and I sat and talked most of the time but he never came back, which is unfortunate. Again, thanks for sharing!

    Posted by Maranda | July 11, 2010, 5:00 pm
  2. >thank you! I was really struck by Tim's blog as well. It's one of those issues that tends to get buried and needs to be addressed.

    Posted by Kristen | July 11, 2010, 6:01 pm
  3. >It's nice to hear someone say this, but after dealing with this myself for over a decade I have seen no change in people's attitudes or view concerning military husbands, if anything it has gotten worse. The idea that there are only Army wives is spread by army wives. Husbands are purposely excluded from events or ridiculed when they do attend. The stereotype is promoted by FRGs and ACS. Those husbands that have good experiences are few and far between. Blogging about this will help nothing because it is the wives themselves that want us left out of their community. I see no change of this attitude in the future and have learned that it is best for us army husbands to learn to fend for ourselves and to say to hell with the spousal community as a whole.

    Posted by Anonymous | July 18, 2010, 12:05 am

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